Carey McBeth

NEWS RELEASE

Carey McBeth — Fri, 10 May 2013 00:00:54 +0000

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Multiple Moms, Frustrating Exes and Brand New Stepmoms

Mother’s Day Etiquette Tips From Vancouver’s Etiquette Expert

VANCOUVER, May 9, 2013 – Mother’s Day is just around the corner and while we should all be excited to celebrate those special mothers in our life, many of us will be cringing at the thought of having to deal with multiple moms, frustrating exes or a brand new stepmom.

“Mother’s Day is about celebrating those women who have touched our lives,” says Carey McBeth, a Vancouver based etiquette expert. “Whether someone is a mother to you, a mother-in-law, a stepmother, or mother of your pet, they all deserve to have some special attention and appreciation on Mother’s Day.”

But with divorces at an all time high, new stepmoms on the scene, and a meddling mother-in-law that sometimes challenge our patience, one wonders how to navigate through this day without it turning into Mother’s Day mayhem.

McBeth offers the following Mother’s Day etiquette tips:

Finding the perfect gift – Most mothers don’t care what their gift is, they just want to be thought of. A visit from their loved one is typically a sufficient way of letting your mother know that you love and appreciate her. Something as simple as a basket of scones, some loose leaf tea, and an assortment of fresh preserves shared with mom in her garden, would melt even the most discerning mother’s heart.

Money is tight. What do I do? – Consider giving your mother the gift of time. All mothers can use a helping hand every once and a while. Inquire as to any tasks your mother needs help with and present her with a personal gift certificate for your time.

Dealing with mothers that just don’t get along – If there is a conflict between mothers, or your mother prefers to spend her special day just with you, you must adjust your plans accordingly. Remember, this is Mother’s Day! Split the day in half and spend the morning with one mother and the afternoon with the other. Alternatively, you can celebrate Mother’s Day all weekend by spending separate days with each of them.

Remember stepmoms are moms too – Unless your stepmother has sprung from the pages of Snow White you should acknowledge her as a mother or a friend. It is important to recognize that they are in-fact a part of your life and thank them for making your father so happy.

Dealing with an Ex? Put the kids first – It is important for separated or divorced couples to put their differences aside on Mother’s Day. Ensure your children have an opportunity to spend some quality time with their mother. Dads are not responsible for purchasing their ex a Mother’s Day gift (unless of course your children ask you to), but having the kids make a homemade card would be the appropriate thing to do.

Carey McBeth is a nationally recognized business etiquette expert & professional speaker. She provides training, coaching and keynotes on the topics of business etiquette, dining etiquette, and Canadian workplace culture. For more information, please contact Carey McBeth at 604.317.3299, or visit the company website at http://www.careymcbeth.com.

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Restaurant industry predicts significant growth upon PST’s return

Carey McBeth — Thu, 04 Apr 2013 05:17:19 +0000

Restaurant industry predicts significant growth upon PST’s return

By Tyler Orton, 24 Hours Vancouver

Wednesday, March 20, 2013 6:16:18 PDT PM

Saying goodbye to the harmonized sales tax next month won’t just benefit restaurateurs and avid foodies eager to see the final restaurant bill drop 7%, according to the head of the B.C. Restaurant and Foodservices Association.

Ian Tostenson said the trickle-down effects of only charging diners GST means more jobs throughout the province and even higher wages for servers.

“We’ll probably see the industry start to pick up a growth of anywhere between 3% to 5% this year,” the BCRFA president said, adding he estimates the average family will have an additional $200 a year to spend at restaurants when taxes for prepared food go from 12% to 5%.

“You could eat lunch out 22 times more throughout the year.”

Tostenson said if diners are spending more money on food due to lower bills, the province could expect 5,000 to 8,500 additional jobs that will likely pay more.

“When HST came in, that little push of 7% caused a lot of diners to back off and not tip as much,” he said, adding customers will probably add a higher gratuity when they get a smaller bill.

Vancouver-based etiquette expert Carey McBeth also expects more generosity from diners beginning next month. She noted after HST was introduced in July 2010, many establishments added the tip option for a percentage after the tax instead of the subtotal.

But fellow etiquette expert Kimberly Law said tips will be easier to calculate once HST disappears.

“When we did have GST before, what I used to recommend to my clients is take the 5%, multiply it by three and that’s (your tip).”

Asking For Money: 8 Etiquette Tips On Borrowing And Lending Money

Carey McBeth — Thu, 14 Mar 2013 04:12:30 +0000

Asking For Money: 8 Etiquette Tips On Borrowing And Lending Money

The Huffington Post Canada | By Arti PatelPosted: 03/13/2013 11:23 am EDT | Updated: 03/13/2013 11:43 am EDT

You often hear the phrase “money talks” — but why is so hard to actually talk about money?

“Money is something very personal. Some people work really hard to make ends meet and it becomes a sensitive topic,” says Carey McBeth, an etiquette specialist based in Vancouver. “People aren’t comfortable or passionate about it, which gets hard when you’re trying to ask for it back.”

And if you don’t have a reason to talk about it, you probably won’t. But when it comes to lending money and borrowing from other people, McBeth says the conversation can get a little awkward.

“As soon as there is money involved both people get stressed,” she tells The Huffington Post Canada. “Before you borrow money, let the person know in detail how you plan on giving them the money back.”

Of course, asking someone to cover for lunch and help you pay for a car are very different, but McBeth says it doesn’t matter how much money is being tossed around. Make sure both parties understand when it’s going to be paid back.

Details aside, borrowing money also means asking the right person. Not only should you know and trust the person (how uncomfortable would it be if you didn’t), but you should also be able to communicate with them openly.

Family and close friends are probably the easiest way to go, and most of the time, both would be willing to help out, according to Time Magazine. But as a result, mixing up your finances with your personal relationships isn’t always the smartest idea either.

If you don’t want to dole out any cash to friends or family, one way to work around this is to have a conversation about how you can help the situation without actually lending money.

If you do loan a substantial amount of money, make sure you have a record of it in writing before you offer to help, in the event of a worst-case scenario where you have to pursue legal action.

Smartphone addiction disrupts Canadians’ lives

Carey McBeth — Sat, 29 Dec 2012 16:34:50 +0000

Smartphone addiction disrupts Canadians’ lives

Devices attached to our hips and heads spawn a whole new spectrum of addiction

By Denise Ryan, Vancouver Sun December 28, 2012

When Sophia Cheng goes to sleep, she slips her smartphone under the pillow. That way she won’t see the light flashing. If she sees the throbbing red light, she has to reach for it. She can’t help herself.

“I will look at it, because I just can’t stand it.”

Ah, the tweets, the emails, the Likes. The stream of life.

If it’s turned on, it turns her on.

Good night, sleep.

When Cheng gets separated from her phone, the pang she feels is almost physical. “I go through withdrawal.”

Cheng’s vice is also her virtue: she’s a communications professional. She’s quick on the draw, known for responding in seconds.

Cheng tweets 25 to 30 times a day, sends dozens of emails, takes countless calls, Pins and Likes a lot of things.

The smartphone is the nerve centre of her business and personal life. If she loses it, she’ll be lost.

The interdependence of smartphone and user is spawning a whole new spectrum of pathologies.

Nomophobia, a state of anxiety experienced when separated from one’s smartphone, affects 65 to 66 per cent of users, according to recent studies in Canada and the U.K.

In South Korea, the government has reported 11 per cent of Korean children have been diagnosed for smartphone addiction, and clinics and educations programs are being set up to deal with the problem.

Dysfunction issues for children include disruptions in school, social isolation, compulsive use and massive phone bills.

For Canadian adults, the social aspects of smartphone addiction are a growing issue in work and personal lives.

We sleep with our cellphones, we use them on the toilet.

Cheng draws a line here: on the toilet is a no-no for texting, but it’s perfect for Twitter, she says. Ten per cent of American adults under 25 think it’s acceptable to text during sex, according to one online study.

Cheng, who is 30, tries to keep the relationship with her smartphone out of her love life: for a recent anniversary dinner she and her husband negotiated a smartphone détente. The terms included leaving their phones in the hotel room while out for a romantic dinner.

Presumably they ignored them when they returned to the room.

But Cheng always checks her phone one last time before hitting the pillow. “It’s replaced reading in bed for me,” she says.

Her family doesn’t get it when she’s got the phone on the dinner table, and she recently tried a two-day electronics fast for the holidays, with limited success.

“I found myself sneaking on to Facebook at night.”

Self-confessed smartphone addict Joshua Peters, a 27-year-old federal government employee, says if he misplaces his smartphone, the feeling is “panic.”

With the knowledge base of the Internet at his fingertips, all of his contacts and social networks, the smartphone is effectively an extension of his very self.

Peters tries not to sleep with it, and deliberately places it across the room when he goes to bed. Still, the morning routine is all about lounging in bed and checking his email on not one, but two phones.

Peters has two BlackBerries, one for work and one for his personal life. “If you want to talk about anxiety, that really stresses me out, trying to keep the work and personal private.”

When he goes out, he has to know when to “BYOD” (“bring your own device”) or else “#lifeiscomplicated,” he explains over email.

Peters tries to curb his smartphone habits in social situations. “It’s important to manage your cellphone with boundaries or it becomes more important than the people around you.”

Peters says he went through a learning curve with smartphones, aided in part when he completed a master’s in communications at Royal Roads University. How to use, not abuse, technology and social media was an important part of the curriculum.

Carey McBeth, an etiquette expert and business professionalism trainer, said cellphone abuse is the number one issue she is asked to address when called in to work with corporate staff.

“It’s a huge problem. People can’t put down their phones,” she said.

“I think there is a huge addiction factor. You have to be able to look at the phone and ask yourself: Can I put this away?”

If you can’t go for lunch without having your phone on the table, you don’t have time to go for lunch, says McBeth. If you can’t get through a meeting without having your phone on the table in front of you, you don’t have time for that meeting.

“When you take a call in front of someone else what you are saying is that the person on the phone is more important than the person in the room,” says McBeth.

It sends the wrong message.

“You can’t do two things at once,” says McBeth.

In a job interview, or a sales situation, such behaviour could cost you a job. Spending a lot of time kibbutzing on your smartphone does not make you look more important. On the contrary.

McBeth points out, “You don’t see people of distinction or diplomats with phones in their hands. It’s rude.”

Other transgressions include the “cell yell” (raising your voice when talking on a cell), texting on dates and in religious services, using your smartphone in a grocery lineup and slowing things down because you’re not able to focus on your transaction, and texting with a bright screen in a movie theatre.

While the term “addiction” denotes an unhealthy dependency, both Cheng and Peters are learning to manage the technology they love.

And when it comes to reading in bed with her smartphone, Cheng doesn’t want anyone to get the wrong idea — it’s all about the articles.

dryan@vancouversun.com

5 Tips for Remembering Names

Carey McBeth — Fri, 09 Nov 2012 18:48:16 +0000

All it takes is a positive attitude and a few mnemonic tricks

By Brent Jolly | November 09, 2012 11:20

Zsa Zsa Gabor once admitted: “I call everyone ‘Darling’ because I can’t remember their names’.”

While that strategy might have worked for the legendary actress, it isn’t likely the best way to help you build a credible financial advisory practice.

Remembering people’s names, at social functions and impromptu interactions, can be challenging, says Carey McBeth, a business professionalism and etiquette specialist based in Vancouver.

“We build relationships with people using the skills we were born with,” McBeth says. And we can use those skills to help us better communicate with the people in our network.

McBeth offers the following five tips to help you avoid that awkward, humbling moment when you can’t remember the name of an important client or acquaintance:

1. Listen!
Too often, we are more focused on what we are going to say next, McBeth says, than listening to what the other person is saying.

Instead of thinking, “What am I going to say next,” listen to what the other person is saying so you can process and retain that information. Make eye contact and don’t be afraid of a momentary silence.

2. Use mnemonic devices
If you get caught up in a deluge of new names at a social event, consider picking out little hints or traits that will help you recollect someone’s name later on.

For example, if you just met “Carey” who was having a fruit drink, think of her as “Carey-Berry.” Just be sure the mental nickname is easy to recall.

3. Repeat
Use the other person’s name in conversations once you have been introduced, and don’t be apprehensive about continuing to use it.

American author Dale Carnegie once noted: “A person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

McBeth agrees. You will find that people perk up, she says, when you say their name. It also helps you establish a personal rapport with them.

4. Make use of business cards
If you weren’t able to catch someone’s name when introduced, be sure to ask for their business card if you want to include them in your network.

It’s important — and proper etiquette — McBeth says, to actually look at the business card when it’s presented, rather than just shoving it into your pocket.

Looking at the card is also a great way for visual learners to make a mental note of a name’s spelling to help you remember it down the road.

5. Stay positive
Stop telling yourself you don’t remember names and start telling yourself, “I’m good at remembering names,” McBeth says.

This subtle reinforcement can boost your confidence and put you in a positive — rather than already defeated — frame of mind.

Casual Friday: The art of small talk

Carey McBeth — Sat, 27 Oct 2012 04:27:02 +0000

A good casual chat can be an essential business tool

By Brent Jolly | October 26, 2012 12:20

For some financial advisors, making small talk at networking events is comparable to having a root canal: nerve-wracking, painful or even numbing.

But making small talk can be not only painless but enjoyable, says Carey McBeth, a business professionalism and etiquette specialist based in Vancouver.

“People love to do business with those they know and trust,” McBeth says. “Small talk and networking are about establishing relationships and building that trust.”

In today’s competitive market, being an effective conversationalist can be an important part of expressing your value proposition to prospective clients.

So, how can you master the art of small talk? McBeth offers several suggestions — with no anesthetic required:

> Do your homework
Being a smooth small-talker is all about preparation. Too many people try to wing it and simply talk, ad nauseam.

A little preparation allows you to share details about yourself or your business in a way that others will find interesting. You might also brush up on current affairs in case any news items should arise in the conversation.

> Make the first move
Don’t be afraid to step up to others and introduce yourself to get the ball rolling. Look out for people who show signs that they are receptive to conversation. Look for groups of three or more and individuals whose body language indicates they are approachable. People with crossed arms, who aren’t smiling or are avoiding direct eye contact probably aren’t your best bets.

“Be the first to introduce yourself,” McBeth says. “It gives you a bit of an upper hand [and shows] that you are confident. Nobody wants to do business with a wallflower.”

And when you’re not engaged in dialogue, make yourself look approachable. Keep your arms uncrossed, welcome eye contact and smile.

> The conversation
If you’re stuck for a topic, try asking the other person what he or she thought about the keynote speaker. Or you might ask about past experiences at similar industry events.

Telling interesting anecdotes about yourself and your business can help in striking up a conversation. But remember that the key to a good exchange is listening.

“People spend a small fortune to see counsellors or psychologists,” McBeth says, “because those people will listen to them.”

Listen for key words, facts, feelings and common experience that will help you establish trust. If you are known as a person who listens, others will want to speak with you.

> The close
There is also an art to closing a conversation — conclusively, positively and without awkwardness. This step is essential in establishing the next point of contact with colleagues or potential clients.

At the close of the conversation, restate what you found interesting in the conversation. This is a good time exchange business cards or get permission to contact the acquaintance in the future.

“If you walk away from a conversation without knowing what the next step is,” McBeth says, “you might as well have not spoken to the person.”

Top 10 Rules of Riding Public Transit

Carey McBeth — Thu, 13 Sep 2012 00:16:48 +0000

I recently did a radio interview on CKNW about transit etiquette and thought I would share the Top 10 Rules of Riding Public Transit. Be sure to check out my radio interview by clicking on the audio box below.

1. Be Considerate – When an elderly, pregnant or disabled person boards, offer to give up your seat. The front section of transit is reserved for these individuals so if you are sitting in that area, you must give up your seat. Also, allow for those exiting to get off first before you board.

2. No Cell Phone Yell! Keep your voice to a minimum as to not disrupt your fellow riders. Not all of us want to hear your conversation.

3. Watch Your Language – Minimize conversational obscenities as some fellow commuters might be offended by your swearing as well as there might be children onboard.

4. Be Considerate Towards Sleeping Commuters – In the early morning, people might be trying to sleep and it is very inconsiderate to be having loud conversations. Speak in a lower voice during the early morning commute.

5. Cover Your Mouth! – Cover your mouth whenever you cough or sneeze. A tissue is the best option but your sleeve will do in a pinch.

6. One Seat Per Person – Seats are for people, not your backpack or briefcase. Place it in on your lap, between your legs or under the seat.

7. Avoid Personal Grooming – No brushing your hair, spraying hairspray or fragrance, nail clipping or filing. None of the aforementioned belong on public transit.

8. Chew Gum With Your Mouth Closed – The clacking of gum is a surefire way to heat the tempers of your fellow commuters. Keep your mouth closed and avoid blowing bubbles.

9. Umbrellas – Be sure to tap your umbrella prior to boarding transit. Your fellow commuters won’t appreciate a soaking wet umbrella brushing up against them.

10. iPods – Keep your music volume at a normal volume . Those near you will appreciate it.

The Battle of RT vs. MT

Carey McBeth — Thu, 26 Jul 2012 06:35:10 +0000

I was recently asked by a client what the protocol was regarding the use of RT vs. MT when using Twitter. Since not everyone knows what MT means, I thought I would provide a little clarification on the battle of RT vs. MT.

If you are retweeting someone verbatim, then “RT @username:” is the standard format to use. If you modify a tweet, the proper protocol would be to use “MT @username” instead. This lets the reader know that it is a “Modified Tweet” instead of a “Retweet.”

The key question in all of this is how much modification warrants going with MT vs. RT? If you are just changing a couple of characters to save space, and not changing the tweet substantially, then you may stick with a RT. If you begin to cut out a sentence, change words or tweak it quite a bit, then you should go with MT instead.

Happy RT & MTing!

Carey

Going Beyond 140 – 5 Tips to Build Meaningful Business Relationships on Twitter

Carey McBeth — Wed, 11 Jul 2012 17:22:21 +0000

Everyone knows how to get more Twitter followers, but how many of those followers are you actually building relationships with?

Some people say that it is impossible to build real relationships on Twitter, adding that you can’t really get to know someone in 140 characters or less. However, with a little time, persistence and a genuine interest in what others are saying, it can be a fantastic platform gain attention and start dialogue with those you otherwise would not have the opportunity to meet.

5 Tips to build meaningful relationships onTwitter

1. Follow back those who follow you

You should disregard spammers and those who are clearly not following you for the content, but don’t be afraid to follow back your loyal followers. Don’t just click “Follow” when someone new follows you, look through their feeds, comment on their tweets and see if there are any discussions you can weigh in on.

2. Answer questions

If there are questions and conversations going on in your Twitter feed, don’t be afraid to join in! This is the perfect opportunity to increase your visibility, showcase your knowledge and possibly gain a few new followers. Just remember to say clear of controversial topics that could ruin your reputation and credibility.

3. Don’t forget to follow-up

Nothing shows you care more than follow-up. If you helped someone answer a question they had, or read about a dilemma, it’s a great idea to follow-up and say, “how did things go?” Most people will respond, but all will take note of your genuine interest. .

4. Give a shout-out to those followers you admire

Are there people who you really enjoy following who always create great content? #FollowFriday is a hashtag created to give shout-outs to those who you really enjoy following. Trust me when I say, this will not go unnoticed.

5. Say thank you!

When someone retweets one of your tweets, it is professional and polite to say thank you. If you want to show even more appreciation, retweet something great of theirs. Remember that not everyone knows when they have been “retweeted” so you might want to include a personal message congratulating them or letting them know what you liked about the tweet.

Remember, Twitter isn’t all about hashtags (#), @ signs and RT’s, it’s about relationships. Without some type of engagement, you are losing an opportunity to build those relationships and possibly turn those followers into paying customers.

Carey

The Key to Networking is Starting and Ending Conversations

Carey McBeth — Mon, 25 Jun 2012 18:01:39 +0000

Networking can be a terrifying experience to many, the ability to approach large groups of strangers is truly an art. You often see those who dive into a networking event with comfort and ease while others are left wondering how on earth they can make it look so natural.

Over the years I have had to improve my own networking skills in order to be as effective as I possible can at business events. However, the one thing that has never changed is that in order to be successful at networking, one must have the ability to start and end a conversation smoothly.

Here are a few tips to help you master the art of starting and ending networking conversations:

Get Your Bearing at the Event

Large networking events and conferences can be extremely overwhelming. Approaching the coordinators or volunteers for assistance can be an easy way to start a conversation and get introduced to others.

Try: “Hello, my name is Carey McBeth. This is my first time to this event and I am wondering if you could provide me with some information on what to expect? Are there any sessions that you would suggest I attend?”

To Start a Regular Conversation

Long gone are the days on the playground when you might have been told “you can’t play with us” by your fellow classmates. Don’t be shy, you will not be told you can’t join in a conversation, especially if you have something great to add to it!

To join a conversation, it is as simple as: “Hello, my name is Carey McBeth, would you mind if I join you?”

During the Conversation

The easiest way to get to know someone is to ask questions. Often you find people trying to sell themselves at networking events, this is not effective and the effect will likely have the other person wanting to run for the hills. Focus your attention on the other individual, ask questions about their business, show that you genuinely care, and always maintain eye contact.

Try: “So Eric, what industry do you work in? How long have you been with xyz company? I see that you work in the real estate industry, what are your thoughts on the current Vancouver market?”

Parting Ways

It is natural that after starting a conversation, you will eventually need to exit that conversation. How you exit the conversation will leave a lasting impression on those you have just met.

To Exit Gracefully With No Follow-Up

Try: “It has been a pleasure speaking with you Cole, there are a few people I need to say hello to, so please enjoy the rest of your evening.”

To Connect at a Future Date

When you have met someone who you think might be a valuable contact, make sure to exchange business cards before exiting the conversation.

Try: “I have really enjoyed talking to you Gail, would you mind if I asked you for a business card so we could connect again in the future?”

Planning a Follow-up Meeting

Perhaps you are an insurance salesperson and your new contact has requested information from you. Always plan a firm follow-up before exiting the conversation.

Try: “It has been a pleasure meeting you Denise, and I would be honoured to help you with your insurance needs. May I grab your business card and follow-up tomorrow to set-up a meeting?”

To Get Advise from A New Found Expert

A new contact can be a highly valuable resource, but you don’t want to dominate someone’s time at a networking event. When it is time to part, request a follow-up but be honest as to your intentions.

Try: “You have been an incredible wealth of career advice Adam, I am wondering if I might be able to take you for a cup of coffee to pick your brain about getting into your industry?”

Networking can be easy and fun if you man yourself with the right tools to succeed. Stay current in local, national, and international events as well as the current business headlines so you are able to engage in any type of conversation.

Best of luck and happy networking!

Carey